Job 33: 27-28 He will declare to his friends, ‘I sinned and twisted the truth, but it was not worth it. God rescued me from the grave, and now my life is filled with light.’
About five months after finally hitting bottom I heard Him say in my heart, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Words I really needed to hear at the time. I was lying in bed and as I opened my eyes, I literally could see nothing! Not even the hand directly in front of my face. I was in the midst of darkness personally. Financially I had just a few dollars to my name. A week or two later He said, “Don’t let the break of dawn affect our relationship in a negative way.” By this time I had started a quiet time in the morning that consisted of lots of prayer, a daily bible reading program and journaling. So I made a promise that I wouldn’t let the break of dawn affect our relationship in a negative way!
Then six months after hitting bottom, I was beginning to see the break of dawn in ways that included personal finances and part time employment. It was then that I heard Him say, “128.” That’s it! Just “128.” The day I heard this was January 23rd and I thought that 128 might have meant January 28th. So I waited the few days to see what God had planned to do on 1/28. The day went by with no great occurrence or revelation. I questioned Him, in prayer, what 128 might mean. Then, again in my heart, He said, “Psalm 128.” I read it and wept. It seemed like a promise that was meant to give me hope that restoration with the family was possible. I can definitely see my ex-wife as a fruitful grapevine. With 3 grown children and 2 little ones that we were in the process of adopting, I could see them as vigorous young olive trees around the table. My ex-wife has since adopted the kids as a single mom. A year after reading Psalm 128 I’m not positive it was a promise for me because of the previous choices I’ve made. I still believe that God can do anything, but I definitely feel like Psalm 128 is a message that I can share with all men, single or married. And not only men, but women too. My prayer is that men and women might see the following pages as encouragement for what God wants to do in your current marriage, or what He has planned for you in the future, if you are single. I would never want any man to have to go through what I have gone through. Greater still, I don’t wish what my ex-wife has gone through on any woman. And when it comes right down to it, I don’t wish the pain of what our adult children have had to endure on anybody. But for me, the experience of growth and healing has been priceless, I can’t imagine not going through it. The only thing I would have preferred is for it to have happened 30 years ago. If this can help one person, it is a blessing to have been able to share the information on the following posts. Praise be to God.
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