We have talked already about fear and awe. There are lots of real fears that I have had in the past including the fear of failure. That has probably been my greatest fear in life. And that goes back to performance based living. The fear of failure was pretty much in every part of my life. Fear of failing at marriage, parenting, friendship, my job, and living a Christ like life. And as I feared it…I lived it. I set myself up for failure in that fear.
Other fears I had include the fear of the unknown, fear of heights, and the fear of being found out.
As a kid growing up I feared my parents’ wrath. That’s why I wanted to “perform” in positive ways. When I was out playing at the neighbor’s house down the street, I remember mom would call me home. We lived in a pretty quiet neighborhood, so I heard her most of the time. On those rare occasions that I didn’t hear her, she would yell a few minutes later and call me by my first and middle name. When that happened, there was no messing around…I headed home right then and there! If I didn’t hear mom a second time, dad would come out to the front porch and yell my name. If and when that happened, I was already in trouble and it was time to high tail it home. That was out of fear of wrath. There was respect, but more fear of misbehaving and punishment.
As a side note about my fear of heights, and an example of God’s sense of humor, one of the first jobs I had after my experience hitting bottom was helping part time at a roofing company. It was my job to climb on roofs and take measurements. The first roof I climbed on was a two story building at an elementary school. I couldn’t help but laugh as God conquers things in my life one at a time. I’m still not crazy about heights, but I don’t have the fear that I once had.
Before hitting the bottom in life and my spiritual awakening, I didn’t have the fear of the wrath of God. I knew that as a believer in Jesus Christ as the Son of God, I was going to spend eternity with Him. But I didn’t allow Him to change me on the inside. I guess you can say that I thought I had a get out of “hell” free card. So instead, I kept living a life of failure. As we talked about earlier, I failed in my relationship with Him, in my marriage, at parenting, in my ministries and my friendships. There were times that I remember telling my wife that I didn’t deserve her and that I felt like a failure. She had no idea why I would say something like that and would do her best to encourage me. It was only after hitting the bottom and had that spiritual awakening that I realized there was a strength that I always had available to me in Christ, but previously had no idea how to tap into it. There are circumstances that I have to live out due to the choices I made. That can be called the wrath of God or can be looked at as God’s amazing pursuit of me. He loved me so much that He didn’t want me to continue living the way I was. He had, and has, a better plan! I had allowed the enemy to use me and my fears for his success. Unfortunately, Satan won a battle in my life for a long time. His ultimate victory in my life was the destruction of my marriage and family. My friendships were altered, ministries were put on hold and for a while and my spirit was crushed.
Let’s go back to the first part of this verse. “That is the Lord’s blessing…” What is the Lord’s blessing? To enjoy the fruit of your labor, be joyful and prosperous, that your wife will be a fruitful grapevine and your kids like vigorous young olive trees. Men it doesn’t get any better than that here on earth! And all you have to do is be in awe of the Lord and follow His ways. Allow God to awaken your spirit. Is that a promise of a trouble free existence? No! What it is a promise of is that, as you give all that you are and all that you have to Him and serve your family, He is there encouraging you and going through it all with you. And remember it’s not by your strength that you will be able to make it. In fact, we are reminded of that several times in scripture. In John 15:5, for example, Jesus tells us that He is vine and we are the branches and then answers the question, what can we do apart from Him?
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit (aka blessing). For apart from me you can do nothing.”
I hope you are hearing my passion in this because God has so much He wants to give you, if you let Him.
A lot of people think that because a neighbor, friend or family member has financial freedom, or toys, or a big home, that God has really blessed them. Possibly true, but not necessarily, and probably more times than not, God is not a factor in what they “have.” There are those followers of Christ who have been blessed by God financially and materially. But when we see their “stuff” and the envy and jealousy kicks in we ask…why not me? “Stuff” does not bring joy and happiness. You say, “Yea well try me.” Here’s what “stuff” brings…responsibility, maintenance, and possibly a fear of losing it. Now, before you start sending letters telling me, well God has blessed you with “stuff,” I do realize that hard work can lead to being blessed by God with stuff. Then it is up to you how you use it for His glory.
I want to tell you about a family who has been blessed by God with stuff and how they have used it to God’s glory! Kevin and Maria Harbert are owners of the company SandSational Sparkle. They sell colored sand to be used in Sand Ceremonies at weddings. They also sell containers and other items related to a wedding ceremony or reception. If you would like to know more about the Sand Ceremony there will be a special post a little later titled “Sand Ceremony.” Anyway, the Lord has blessed their business and lives. I have known Kevin and Maria for about 25 years. In an incredible God story, after my tumble to the bottom, they contacted me to visit them and a counselor at Christian Life Ministries in their area. I did not have a job or steady income, so I wouldn’t be able to make the trip. Their response was the perfect example of Christ working through them. They flew me out from California to South Dakota at their cost, allowed me to stay in their home, drove me to the counseling appointments (one hour each way), paid for the counseling and supplies, fed me, and paid for most everything during my three and a half week stay. Then they blessed me with a cash gift as I left. I don’t know how many thousands of dollars they ended up spending on me, but it was the most significant life changing month in all of my then 51 years on earth! What an investment they made! They used what God has blessed them with to bring enrichment and a stronghold of God in the life of a Brother in Christ. It was also a wonderful bonding time with the family. Their teenage daughter Paige was also an example of Christ as she made room for me, encouraged me and really made me feel like a part of the family. The following year I was blessed by the family again as they flew me back to South Dakota to be a part of Paige’s high school graduation Blessing Service at their home. They understand their purpose for what God blesses them with. I have experienced it first hand, more than once. I praise God for His blessing on their lives, as they blessed me with their fruit. Does all of that make sense? In other words, use what God has blessed you with to bless others. You are Blessed to Bless!
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